I *am* here to make friends (and kiss)

my time with Alphecca, flower crown star

Parker Posey, my party girl inspiration

I have recently awoken to a nascent desire to be a hot, discerning party girl. One who goes to dances and get-togethers, sure, but also someone who goes to a bar on a Tuesday just to people-watch or petting a dog on the street or taking a walk to get a matcha. I take the Andrew W.K. philosophy of partying as a way of being rather than. discrete act: “The attitude is one of optimism, one of courage, one of, I’d say, humility. But most of all, one of gratitude, a celebratory enthusiasm for getting to exist at all”.

I did not always have this view of partying. For most of my life, the social options available in my small suburban conservative town were not appealing to me or seemed, simply, not for me. My own past wounds around friendships and meeting new people made me think I didn’t like going out or socializing when really, I just hadn’t found my own way yet.

At the beginning of 2025, I made a few new year’s resolutions around my spiritual practice, one of which was to spend time with the flower crown star and see what her magic can do for my life (as well as how can I serve her ?).

But I’m a Leo rising with a 5th house stellium: I am in my element flitting from person to dance floor to smoke break (interspersed with plenty of alone time, of course). I thrive hosting parties and making people feel welcome. My life just feels better when I am around other people enjoying themselves. I suspect I’m not alone in this.

Since my last birthday, this desire to go out more has become quite loud. But, due to hermit habits cultivated since the pandemic and my own introverted tendencies, I felt a lot of resistance to doing the types of things I know would make me happy.

So, I turned to Alphecca.

Ariadne and Dionysus

Alphecca is a fixed star that has long drawn me in. As part of Corona Borealis, her mythos is rich: she represents the flower crown given by Aphrodite to Ariadne before the mortal’s wedding to Dionysus. As one of the Behenian Stars, 15 fixed stars singled out for their magical potential for centuries, her power is strong.

But even amongst these singular stars she stands out: Hermes Trismegistus tells us a talisman of Alphecca “makes men chaste, and grants friendship and honor with God and man”. Manilius tells us of those impacted by this star that their “heart is set upon elegance, fashion, and the art of adornment, upon gracious living and the pleasure of the hour”— certainly partying would fit in too?

This is a lush, romantic star, one that evokes eating oysters and wearing pearls by the ocean as much as relaxing with friends in a flower garden. She is creative, fertile, connective, beautiful. As a fixed star, she helps one connect with the spiritual purpose of adornment, romance, and surrendering to love. These are just a few reasons I include Alphecca in my Stars of Love lecture.

But it isn’t enough for me to give you all the facts and poetry about this stars. I also share my personal experience working with Alphecca to find out for myself, and all of y’all, the exact contours of Alphecca’s relationship to romance.

In my research, I identified four stars that can be used magically and talismanically for amorous purposes: Sirius, the dog star, Alpheratz and Mirach, of the Andromeda constellation, and Alphecca. But I knew that each fixed star was its own city, filled with different contours and characters that each offered different paths and boons. I want to get really good at helping people connect with the exact star that they need in this moment. But, in order to do that, I have to know the terrain of the stars myself.

Enter: Alphecca. I began engaging with her with the intention of increasing my sociability, helping me go out more, and connect to new people.

Engagement with her looked like performing a ritual with her every month when the Moon conjoined her ecliptic position (12º Scorpio) and then taking myself out to a fancy dinner.

For my first ritual I put white fragrant flowers into a vase and collected tangles of ivy (one of her corresponding plants) for my altar. I ate fancy sardines and a lovely grapefruit drink while alternately reading and making small talk with the bartender.

But here’s the thing: for as long as I can remember, making conversation with strangers has been challenging. I’ve always admired my more sanguine companions for this ability, but now, I was doing it. And I continue to do it: geeking out with the barista about their newest beans, complimenting another customer while chatting to a bartender; greeting another on a snowy sidewalk who tells me to be careful out there.

I notice my social anxiety is weirdly quiet and I feel more at home in public spaces; even when it’s there, I feel more relaxed about it. Even in smaller moments, when my attempts at conversation don’t stick, I don’t overthink or worry. Instead of reflexively choosing the corner seat at the coffee shop and putting my headphones, I sit at the communal table, looking up and taking in the scene around me.

All of this, since only performing one big working with Alphecca.¹

Working with this star of love also fit into a recent desire: to be committed to flirting. I have realized that my desire for certainty or control has often precluded moments of meeting, of getting to know, of flirting.

As Adam Phillips puts it, “In so far as we value reliability and the relatively predictable, it is inevitable that flirtation— the (consciously or unconsciously) calculated production of uncertainty— will be experienced at best as superficial and at worst cruel”. But what unimagined possibilities and pleasures await us if we simply to stay open to what flirting can invite in? In Phillips’s view, flirting is a way of making space, “of cultivating wishes, of playing for time. Deferral can make room”.

Alphecca has helped me make space flirting, its uncertainty, its pleasure. I see how a second glance or sustained eye contact invites in pleasant greetings and stares returned. I wade slowly into this new terrain but I feel myself opening.

Beyond that, Alphecca has helped me with the diamond life, as Sade puts it. In the past few weeks especially, I have been indulging in the benefits of a long walk, especially if there’s a treat at the end or a cookie to snack on along the way. I’ve been thinking about color combinations for my outfits while having the unexpected resources to begin filling out my wardrobe with what I’m craving, like this underboob shirt:

Penelope Gazin, the woman that you are!!

If I had to summarize the overall impacts of Alphecca, I return to Ariadne’s relationship to threads. By offering Theseus a spindle before entering the maze which held the fierce Minotaur, she allowed him a connection to where he has been so that he could follow it back to the entrance when he has won the battle with the beast. I have more and more seen Alphecca to be like that thread, helping us remember our invisible connections to all the things in the world— the person sitting next to you at the bar, the blooming Andromeda as you walk, the taste of matcha hitting your tongue. These ties are not forced or constraining but remind us we can always tug at one and find someone else on the other end.

Alphecca helps you live in the reality of interconnection.

Alphecca helps you enjoy this connection in many forms: friendships, art, beauty, love.

She shows you the refined, spiritual potential of experiencing pleasure, surrendering to love, being chosen just by being you.

Of course this is just the beginning. I will be sure to report in six months or so to show what more is possible with working with the fixed stars.

My Stars of Love lecture aims to help you connect with the fixed stars related to romance and connection so you, too, can connect with their magic.

During this video lecture, I dive deep into four stars from the lens of love:

• Mirach, girdle of Andromeda, 0º Taurus

• Sirius, alpha star of Canis Major, 14º Cancer

• Alpheratz, head of the Andromeda/navel of Pegasus, 14º Aries

• Alphecca, alpha star of Corona Borealis, 12º Scorpio

Each of these stars gives us a different slant on love and I’ll give you plenty of information to help you determine which one(s) are best suited for your needs.

But I promise each of these offers so many beautiful, untold benefits if you show up an trust them.

This wisdom comes from both my years of study of the fixed stars and my own direct experience: I know these stars are truly magic because I have seen and felt it for myself.

If you’re scared about building a spiritual practice, I promise it’s as simple as lighting a candle and sitting in receptive silence. There is no dogma or belief needed: just an open heart.

And even if you just want to learn about these stars, there is so much juicy, in-depth information about the contours of these stars that you will get so much from watching it.

Until next time,

Love,

Chloe

1. To be clear, I have been performing smaller, more gnostically-focused rituals with Alphecca since the beginning of last year, so this is not our first acquaintance.