The 12th house is the first one that I felt as a physical place.
I unknowingly started my astrology studies in a 12th house year and in a 12th house place— a Zen monastery. My baby delineation of my empty 12th house, which is ruled by Cancer, was: finding the dark, cavernous space of this dark house womblike, comforting like an attentive caregiver. The 12th house became the zendo, or meditation hall, but more specifically it was the Columbarium, the hidden room off the main hall holding the colorful statues of all the ancestors, from bodhisattvas to Bodhidharma, the founder of the Zen school. This was the room the officiant and I would go during morning chanting, offering incense and bowing to those who allow us to practice today while those in the main hall sat unaware of what was happening.
Though the 12th house is a place of struggle and difficulty, I also realize I am predisposed to its fruits, as well as those of Cancer. No malefics behold my 12th house, though it forms a sextile and trine to the Moon and Jupiter, its domicile and exaltation ruler. That means it has access to the fertile resources it so craves. This means the mothering I get from the 12th house can be given fully without malefic interference.
This also means that, despite having nothing in Cancer and having it rule my house of isolation and self-undoing, I am realizing that Cancer moons can be quite sweet for me.
I say this to remind you: nuance. The 12th house certainly is a place where a lot of difficulty and bondage can happen; any place Saturn rejoices has to be…unique in its pleasures. But I also beg you to pay attention to your personal experience. This is what relational astrology is all about: honoring both yourself and the world as living beings full of insight. Is a normally difficult aspect or transit actually beneficial or enjoyable for you in practice? Do you note those discrepancies or do you dismiss?
Another thing I learned from the monastery is this James Audubon quote from a book on the Heart Sutra: “When the bird and the book disagree, believe the bird.” Keep looking there.
I had a great time when the Moon was in my 12th this past week, also unafflicted by the malefics in the current sky.1 I spent this past Cancer Moon by the beach, Forks no less, for all you Twi-hards2 at a place where you hike in and can drink the water from a stream that cuts in from the forest (as long as you filter!). Of course, I was agog to see the stream meet the ocean because, as Kaitlin Coppock has taught me, this is the sort of place that fixed star Fomalhaut holds sacred.
Again, as there were no traditional sources on the correspondences of this star, Coppock found her own through her direct experience, spending four days alone at the ocean, following dreams and instincts, and then finding research that supported her hunches. One other connection she made with Fomalhaut, the mouth of the fish, is the whale, more specifically. She explains the connection between Fomalhaut, whales and brackish water thusly:
…despite being exclusive ocean-dwellers, [whales] still require sources of fresh water to survive…While scientists have found that the bulk of this is absorbed from their food, whales are also living, breathing desalination factories…The need to separate *not only* the wheat from the chaff (what is necessary and nutritive from what is superfluous), but more vitally in terms of meaningful transformation, the balancing of poison with the life-giving and the medicinal. The need in metaphysical pursuits to distill, to clarify, and to dispell that which actively hinders or does not serve (emphasis author, source)
Fomalhaut is a mystical, treasure-hunting star. It turns towards the mystical, the imaginal, and is asked to find the treasure among the dream without getting lost, just as a diver must. Manilius tells us of this star that “profit is sought by means of shipwreck, and the diver who has plunged into the depths becomes, like the booty, the object of recovery”.
If you want to find our more about this star and other “Stars of Mysticism,” read my recent newsletter on this group of stars by becoming a paid subscriber
More and more, I’ve been thinking about the gap between what is spoken and what is experienced. No amount of words about what Fomalhaut is will replace the experience of being present with the energy of this star. One of the beautiful things that Kaitlin’s own research has done is allow us new ways to connect with this star beyond the texts alone and develop a sense for it in the body.
So when I happened upon this stream by the ocean, I had to spend some time with Fomalhaut. My companion rolled a spliff with Kaitlin’s Fomalhaut steep and smoke and we offered some to the stream. We noticed the contours of the sand around the tiny stream and oohed and ahed when the waves would crash far enough up the shore to flow into the stream’s inlet. My companion found a smooth blue rock nearby which we planned on returning to the stream, but forgot each time we could.
Eventually, we made our way down to Aberdeen, birthplace of Kurt Cobain, and home to a memorial park in his honor. Natally his moon is in Cancer, alongside the exaltation ruler Jupiter, in the 11th house of Good Spirit. We left the stone on a plaque set into the ground, near the bridge Cobain would spend time under when he was homeless or just wanted to be alone. And I’m just another being honoring an ancestor.
I like noticing these links because they remind me of place in between things. I am given trips, rocks, sights, fresh water. I give back smoke, salt water, and stones, my heart, attention and mind. These little moments are like jokes with the universe, remembering my will and voice is just one within the stream.
How are you feeling the influence of the stars in your body recently? Let me know below
And if you want to strengthen your relationship to the world and yourself, book a consult with me. I offer natal readings to understand your unique gifts and challenges, year ahead to explore how your natal promise is unfolding and fixed star readings if you are ready to take your understanding of your chart to the next level
And I leave you with this: 15th century philosopher Marsilio Ficino’s list of the patron deities for each sign:
Until next week,
Chloe
i.e. Mars is in Gemini and Saturn is in Aquarius, two signs to which Cancer is averse, meaning any planets in the sign of the Crab can’t be harmed by the malefics.
it wasn’t even my idea but nonetheless