Loving Time
on kairos and love's seasons
Register for my Stars of Love Course
There is my life before love magic and my life after love magic.
Now, I want to give the same to you.
What exactly do you get?
Over the course of 6 classes, I give you everything you need to know to begin your own fixed star practice and connect with the stars of love to help you build your dream romantic life, regardless of your situation.
We will begin with a basic introduction on the fixed stars, how to practice with them and how to build a magical practice that is sustainable and grounded. We’re in this for the long haul!! No temporary band aids here.
The next four classes will be dedicated to the four fixed stars that bring love and that I have spent extensive time working with.
They are:
• Mirach, the Girdle of Andromeda, 0º Taurus
• Sirius, Bright Star of Canis Major, 14º Cancer
• Alpheratz, the Head of Andromeda, 14º Aries
• Alphecca, Flower Crown of Ariadne, 12º Scorpio
I’ve worked with each of these intimately to figure out tangible practices for approach and to suss out what sort of results each star brings to help you figure out which one best suits your current desires.
I will go beyond what the ancient texts say about these stars and draw deeply from my own gnosis and personal experience with the stars to help you understand and connect with their powers.
We will also go over how these stars play out in a natal chart and how they play out according to which planet they are connected to.
To help you build your own relationships with them, I will also provide a guided meditation for each of the four stars that will lead you through a visioning exercise and help you get comfortable making space to receive their power.
Learn more and register by clicking the link below !
I used to try and measure my love by seasons. Suspecting there might be a sort of pattern to my cycles of romance and destruction, I would map out my love affairs according to the rising and falling of the sun. Aptly, as an autumn baby, fall was the first that held the promise of a deep, mahogany love, one that lit up the darkening sky with possibility and intimacy. Spring is where old things came to die before becoming new things, making even the brightest of affairs a melancholic tinge— when the day is so happy, florid, where does one put one’s doubts and everyday fears? Suddenly all of light is permeated by an uneasy dread, like a horror film in an endless summer.
Summer, too was often time to laze around, sweating, perfect for nursing a heartbreak. You could only be outside all day or for discrete periods of time to avoid sunburn and copious sweating. But it is also a time of little clothing and staying out all night, making public affection all the more frequent. It’s hard to be two bodies close all the time in its heat but easy to want to be naked.
Winter is a time of crystallization, hence ‘cuffing season’. Everyone stops going out as much and there’s a slowing down of meeting new people in rainy Portland. You hunker down, do cozy things like stay home or get the corner table at a random bar, lit gauzily by tea candles.
Winter is when warmth is most appreciated, a nakedness you can get close to. But you still need time to sit with all your Thoughts, the cold, bare landscape giving plenty of space for a range of sensations to come to light. But you move slower, take your time more, become enamored by the first splash of violet crocuses that appear on the edge of bare soil.
But even those poetic generalizations have their limits. I’ve been broken up with in the fall, pined all winter, had my heart given back to me in spring.
Our own timing is more mysterious that the changing of the seasons, but not by much. It is a gift to give ourselves our own timing. To surrender to it.
I had long been afraid to take my time in anything love related because there was this unspoken fear that I would fritter it away if I wasted any time. Like love isn’t found in the “wasted” time! I had confused the ending of When Harry Met Sally, where he runs across New York to kiss her on New Year’s, with the whole of the movie, most of which involved them getting to know each other for over a decade as friends first. In each season is a version of me to know deeply, and then I have something beautiful to offer the other. what a treat.
This movie could be called a love letter to kairos, both a god and a certain sort of time.
According to Greek myth, Kairos was the youngest son of Zeus and the deity of opportunity. He had a long lock of hair on his forehead, as you could only seize an opportunity when he approached “but once he has moved on not even Jupiter [Zeus] himself can pull him back” so says Aesop. Callistratus records that he wears winged sandals, indicating his swiftness, and that he only had to do with youthful beauty, not what had already withered.
In Greek kairos also refers to a type of time. Unlike Kronos, the plodding march of linear time, kairos was the indescribable moment when everything came together, often used to described when an archer chose just the right moment to shoot the arrow and hit a target. It is the switch from time to timelessness, where the fruit is ripe, the flower has bloomed, and now is the time to pluck it.
I am finding much better luck letting my love follow the shifts of Kairos over Kronos. When I trust it unfolds not according to the effort I put in or the length of the toil but the following of my own seasons, going inward when needed and going out again when the right person is ready for me. When I am ready for them. there is no rush here. No fruits i am missing. I only pluck when it is time to pluck, then i eat.
As Johanna Hedva, writing on kairos, puts it, “fate is simply the weather”.
Food as romance
i am skeptical of feeding a man too many times
but i love cooking with a man who can cook
or cooking for a man who can cook and then he does the dishes while i lie down
or him buying food for me
him feeding me
him taking something from my mouth
i like cooking elaborate meals for myself.
i like scallion pancakes and lamb and chile rellenos and rice noodles and egg on rice
i like when we eat with our hands
Love is Blind Screenshots with Quotes from Sabrina Strings’ “The End of Love”
or, why conventional romance takes us further away from love
“The woman representing one of the earliest and most enduring characters deemed worthy of an epic romance was a wealthy noble, with long (usually) blond hair, a willowy figure, startling blue eyes, and skin as white as snow.
We can easily recognize these features today as those representing the apex of whiteness…”
“That is, it has always served to regulate knowledge about women’s appearance for the purpose of adjudicating their sexual opportunities and men’s sexual priorities. Once used by the likes of Bernier to serve as a geolocator for hot mostly non-white chicks, by the mid-eighteenth century, it served a new purpose: To suggest the diminished desirability of certain types of non-European women. Women with darker skin, larger bodies, and curlier hair were, by that time, unsightly, making them unacceptable as romantic partners for upstanding (white) men.
In other words, whiteness became shorthand for a woman’s romantic suitability.”
“During the 1960s, a vocal cadre of influential men were up in arms about women’s making demands for equality in the public sphere while still expecting to enjoy the rites of courtship in private. It was a situation these men were not poised to accept for long…The move toward equality on the part of largely middle- and upper-class educated white women played an integral role in white women’s increasing frustration while seeking white men as partners.”
Read “The End of Love” now !!!
Until next time,
Love,
Chloe